Travelogue

How Herb Got Me to Yes...

When Herb announced that he had once again purchased 2 Burning Man tickets, my first response, of course, was: “Not interested. Sell mine and I’ll use my 900 bucks to go somewhere I want to go.”

His response: “I’ll hold onto it. You’ll change your mind.”

For the next several weeks, he played hours of YouTube videos of past Burning Men (or is it Burning Mans). I have to admit, that while trying to look disinterested, I did think that the massive art installations from artists around the world out on the playa were rather intriguing.

Then, of course, he played a video of a young guy who took his parents (around our age) to Burning Man and how much fun they had together - trying to play the “Andrew and Tommy will think you are so cool if you go card.”

He went even lower and said that our 15-month-old granddaughter would be disappointed if Grandma Amu didn’t go. He went so far as to make me re-read the poem I had hanging in my office:

One day I will be an old woman
with long silver hair, eyes full of light
and life, and lots of laugh wrinkles.

My children’s children will lay out
with me under the stars by a campfire
on a seashore.

We will listen to the waves make music
as I tell them my stories of wild
adventures, of lived dreams, conquered
fears, and a full life lived.

And I will inspire journeys of their own.
This is the dream of all my dreams.

So I moved from the definite “No” column to “I’ll think about it.”

Over the next few weeks, very non-Herb-like Amazon packages began arriving on our doorstep:

• fairy lights to decorate the inside of the RV
• Lots of goodies to make our old mountain bikes playa-ready like:
  • LED lights for our wheels so we could be seen by other bikes when riding out on the playa at night
  • Headlamps so we could see where we were going
  • baskets like the one the wicked witch of the west had on her bike
  • big cushiony seats so our butts would survive the bumpy rides on the playa

Hmm..Now I was getting interested and shifting a little closer to yes

Then some less fun items arrived to deal with the harsh desert conditions:

• Fully-sealed ski goggles to protect our faces during a dust storm
• A well-fitting N95 mask, respirator, or a thick neck gaiter to protect our lungs in a dust storm
• A good moisturizer or salve because the alkaline dust will dry out your skin
• A spray bottle filled with vinegar to neutralize the alkaline playa dust and prevent a painful condition known as "playa foot." PLAYA FOOT???

OK, “Playa Foot” shifted me back a bit towards “No Way.”

Herb was starting to lose me here, but then he thought he had me when I ordered an LED-lit cape, which flashed fluorescent colors.

Although he was impressed with my initiative, he made me return it. Not just because it made me look very not me, but because it had sequins on it - a real “no no” at BM because the sequins can fall off violating the BM motto of “MOOP," which stands for "Matter Out Of Place".

MOOP refers to anything brought to the event that is not a natural part of the Black Rock Desert landscape and must be packed out and removed by participants. The list actually included things like sequins and feathers.

However, opening Amazon boxes as if it was Christmas, moved me to a very firm “Maybe I’ll go.”

The final negotiation was Herb agreeing to my request to stay for only 5 nights (including the Burning of the Man) rather than the full 10.
I was now a wishy-washy “Yes.”

Prepping the RV

There are two ways to camp at Burning Man: in a tent or in an RV of sorts. There was no way in hell I would spend 5 days in a tent in the harsh conditions of the Black Rock Desert, but fortunately, we have a very comfy, but very old, 1999 Lazy Daze motorhome.

At this point in life, I deserve a comfy bed, a private bathroom, and not being pelted with alkaline desert dust. I am so spoiled.

That being said, while we would be protected from the harsh desert conditions, our poor old motorhome wouldn’t.

The fine, alkaline playa dust is incredibly invasive, so Herb had a lot of work to do to seal every possible entry point, a process that would take more days than the 5 days we would actually be spending at Burning Man.

To seal the exterior, Herb used painters and gaffer tape to seal all window, compartment, and door seals. A home air filter cut to size was used to filter the incoming air from our rear Fantastic Fan. The air conditioner had some additional filtration added to help clean the air it would be pulling in.

Despite all that, as demonstrated by the mini-dust storm we encountered during the entry line, the pesky alkaline dust could still find its way in through the cabin air conditioner. We kept it on High which theoretically meant it was in recirculation mode and shouldn’t have pulled in any dust from the outside.

The fear of having to enter or exit the RV during a dust storm required additional measures for the interior of the RV. All carpeting, and seat cushions were covered with old sheets and heavy duty paper so that we could just throw them out at the end and hopefully once again enjoy our pristine upholstery.

The RV was beginning to look a bit less cozy and more like a construction site.

To soften the decor a bit, Herb added 30’ of fairy lights that were strung around the top of the interior cabinets. He did this once before with Christmas lights while we stayed at a KOA before our move to California and it really helped me get into the holiday spirit. Now it would help me get into a better frame of mind to address the challenges of the potentially very dusty and hot playa.

Arrival and Entry

We keep our motorhome at our son’s house in Bishop, California, so Herb had gone over to Bishop a few days ahead of me to do the necessary dust-proofing prep work.

The official opening for Burning Man this year was Sunday, August 24 at 12:01 a.m., but our plan was to go a few days later. Herb and I were still negotiating whether we should go on Tuesday (his idea) or Wednesday (mine).

As Herb was finishing up the RV prep work, we began hearing horrible reports from Burning Man about a massive dust storm on opening day (Sunday the 24th) with wind gusts exceeding 50 mph on the playa, causing whiteout conditions and the closing of the gates. The storm destroyed several camps and art installations and injured some attendees.

After reopening, the Gate was shut down again later that evening due to heavy rain and thunderstorms, which turned the playa surface into thick, impassable mud, making driving impossible and stranding many participants in the entry line.

It was sounding more and more like this was going to be a repeat of what happened in 2023.

“I’m not going,” I said, “and I think you shouldn’t either.”

Herb ignored me and continued with this prep work.

Conditions at Burning Man seemed to calm down Sunday night and the gates reopened Monday morning after the playa had dried out enough to drive on.

The forecast for the week ahead looked a little iffy on Tuesday, but then great for the next 5 days after that. That was much better than a forecast that went from good to bad where we would have the possibility of getting stuck there for days like what happened in 2023.

So, on Tuesday morning I joined Herb in the RV (I’m not sure if either he or I knew until that moment whether I would), and we set off on the 5 hour drive to Black Rock City, where Burning Man lives.

Gerlach, Nevada is the gateway town to the event and the last place you can get gas and supplies. We were good on both. From there we continued on NV 447 N through Gerlach and followed the signs to turn onto County Road 34 which led us to the official Gate Road, where we entered the line to enter Black Rock City.

Wow! The line didn’t look too bad. Often it can take over 6 hours to get in. The line was inching along slowly until it began to rain, with the possibility of lightning forcing the gates to close once again, and they probably wouldn’t reopen until morning. Darn, we were so close - only about 100 yards to go to get in.

Okay, this was not ideal, but we couldn’t really complain as we sat in the back of our cozy motorhome sipping a glass of wine, while those in cars had a very long night ahead of them.

To pass the time we tuned into Burning Man Information Radio (BMIR), broadcasting on 94.5 FM on the playa. The station provided a mix of music, news, weather, event information, and public service announcements for participants.

I learned a lot about Burning Man that night.

For example, I learned that a “Sparkle Pony” is a derogatory term for a person that shows up at Burning Man with expensive, fashionable costumes, but lacks basic necessities like food, water, and shelter. With our fully stocked fridge and no sparkly outfits to speak of I was definitely not a “Sparkle Pony.” We started joking that people over 65 that fit the description were “Sparkle Nags.” Okay, perhaps we were having too much wine.

The most interesting conversation, however, was the news that the famous Burning Man orgy dome had been destroyed in the Sunday storm. We laughed some more as to whether we should just go home then. Definitely too much wine.

Then the talk turned to people finding their “spirit animal” at Burning Man to encourage self-discovery. You do not choose your spirit animal; rather, you invite it to reveal itself to you through self-reflection and openness. I laughed that I am so uptight that my spirit animal would refuse to come out and reveal itself.

Once we were sure that the line would not start moving until morning, we had a quick dinner and went to bed. So, really for us it was no hardship at all being stuck in line. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said about the hundreds of people stranded in their cars.

The next morning it wasn’t raining, and everyone kind of milled around at the gate trying to get some idea if and when we would be able to enter. The word was probably about 11 a.m.

True to their word, the line did start moving around then, but we had one more hurdle - getting our actual tickets at the Box Office just inside the gate. We parked our car, but being the novices (or more correctly Burning Man virgins) we were, we didn’t sprint like everyone else to the Box Office, so we wound up being pretty far back in the line.

Finally, it was our turn to be processed. Here’s what happens:

An enthusiastic Greeter hugged us and said “Welcome Home!” Then she handed us the official event guide and the City Map. We shouldn’t have, but we lied about not being “Virgins” (first time “Burners”) so we didn’t get to ring the bell, lie down and make a dust angel, and shout “I’m a virgin no more!” I would have paid $100 to see Herb do this, but we were anxious to just get a good campsite.

We were not officially in Black Rock City. I explained the city layout in the previous stop (So, What is Burning Man) about how the streets are laid out. Herb had gotten some advice on Reddit about how to find a good and quieter campsite at Burning Man.

We decided to drive along the outermost street (Kilgore) because that way we would be adjacent to an open playa as opposed to being surrounded by RVs and tents on all sides. Maybe this revealed that we were probably not going to be the rowdiest and most social of “Burners” but hey, at least I was here.

We found a great spot on Kilgore between 3:15 and 3:30 named for their corresponding position on the clock face of the street that radiate out from “The Man”(see City Layout description).

Once settled in, you are not allowed to move your vehicle until you leave, so our means of transportation were our feet and our tricked out old mountain bikes.

Our daily routine

The Climax - the Burning of "The Man"