Travelogue

Short of blindfolding and gagging the kids, there’s just no way to sneak by South of the Border. The billboards start as soon as you enter North Carolina, and just keep on coming until you’re so worn down that you just have to stop to see what all the excitement is about. My personal favorite: “You Never Sausage a Place! You're Always a Wiener at Pedro's!”

So, shortly after entering South Carolina, we exited and headed towards the giant sombrero on steroids. Our first stop was Pedro’s store, which was more like the Smithsonian Institute of tacky memorabilia. Never have I seen so many snow globes, Whoopie cushions, and humor centered around bodily functions. The boys absolutely loved it. The store even had an adult-only section called the “Dirty Old Man’s Shop.” There was something for everyone. I don’t know how we managed to exit the store without a single purchase. I think even the boys were so overwhelmed with the choices that even they didn’t know where to start.

We steered the boys past the rides towards Pedro’s mini golf, where the price of admission would last us more than 2 minutes. Andrew had a classic shot where his ball jumped over the rail, headed towards I95, landed atop a decorative rocks cairn, and proceeded to bounce up and down upon it before finally rolling to a stop. He said it was his finest golfing moment. Herb won the game and declared himself “Master of the RV.” I didn’t even want to think about what that meant.

We escaped Pedro’s with a minimal amount of damage to our wallet and dignity and continued on south toward Edisto.

Description

South of the Border is a roadside attraction on I95 just “south of the border” between North and South Carolina. It is famous for its myriad of billboards, which count down the miles until your arrival from over a hundred miles away. Some classics include:

• “You Never Sausage a Place! You're Always a Wiener at Pedro's!”
• “Pedro's Weather Forecast: Chili today, hot tamale”
• “Keep yelling, kids! (They'll stop)”

You’ll know you’re near when you spot the 165 foot tall tower with a very large sombrero on top. Despite the fact that the border is to South Carolina, the theme is Mexican and its mascot is a very stereotypical Mexican “bandito” named Pedro.

At South of the Border you’ll find all the services you need (restaurants, gas stations, a motel) plus many you don’t. There is a small amusement park with rides and a mini golf course and a very entertaining store with every conceivable bit tourist nosh you could dream of and then some.